The newsletter of the Student Association of Graduates in English (SAGE)
at the University of Kansas

SAGE Advice

Winter 2003

The Mayonnaise Jar-And The Beer

Editor's Note: Probably not the title you would expect from the Graduate Student newsletter, right? Well, this issue is a little different than most-and it represents the diverse personalities which we have here in the department. Rather than reporting what's going on in the department, this issue looks more closely at WHO the department is. We have interviews with graduate students and new faculty, and creative work (prose and poetry) from our fellow graduate students.

The following story, which was submitted by Ellen Fangman, seems quite timely as we move into the craziness of finals week.

When things in your life seem almost to much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar-and the beer.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he

Inside this issue:

 continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

Lisa St. Ledger: She's Every Woman
By Ellen Fangman

This morning, as I entered 1087 Wescoe, home of Lisa St. Ledger, Amy Cummins and myself, I found Lisa typing away at our computer to the tune of a Nickel Creek song, as she sat, legs crossed, wearing creamy corduroys and a pretty, lime green sweater. She looked intense, so I knew our interview would have to wait. At least 'til after that slew of emails, student conferences, teaching preparation and her favorite lunch-on-the-go, chicken noodle soup, microwavable of course!

When we found time for coffee later on, I asked Lisa more questions than she bargained for, and I'm glad I did. What follows is a brief portrait of the Lisa I know, and I hope you'll get to know her better, too.
LS: Why are you interviewing ME?

EF: Be quiet and let me ask the questions.

EF: This is your first year in the PhD program on the Rhetoric/Composition track. Are you enjoying it?

LS: Yes, immensely. I like exploring how and why people make the choices they do when writing and speaking.

EF: If you could supplement your study of R&C with another field, what would it be?

LS: I definitely don't want to leave literature behind. Ideally, I'd like to teach literature and composition from a cultural perspective. It's interesting to see how writers interact with other writers and their readers, to see where they succeed and where they fall short.

EF: Do you wish you had 12 years and $120,000 in grants to study in your field? Or would that defeat the purpose?

LS: Grants would be super, but I'd miss teaching. I'd always teach no matter how much funding I had.

EF: How do you feel after a good class?

LS: I feel like singing the Tigger song from Winnie the Pooh (You know, bouncy, trouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.) It's great to develop a rapport with my students and feel like we're on the same page.

EF: What things have helped you become a better teacher?

LS: My GTA friends are wonderful resources for new ideas. My husband, Ray, helps me to see where my students are coming from. He's my "reality check."

EF: What's the latest conference you attended?

LS: "Feminism(s) and Rhetoric(s)."

EF: How did it go?

LS: I'm glad I had a support group with me, because I got frustrated by the reverse discrimination seasoned goers had toward young women and men. Very few men attended the conference, and the majority of the older women there made me feel invited but not welcomed.

EF: How do you balance your personal and professional goals?

LS: I can't separate the two. Teaching and interacting with people is always happening, and rhetoric is ingrained in a lot of what we do.

EF: What are some of your hobbies?

LS: You mean the things I haven't done since I started graduate school? Acrylic painting, sketching, creative non-fiction. Now it's more like poker group, music, and belly dancing.		 EF: I think you need to belly dance at Louise's.

LS: And paint smiley faces on the winners at poker night.

EF: What books are you currently reading?

LS: Truth and Bright Water, by Thomas King, and my favorite Native American piece, Mixed Blood Messages, by Louis Owens. For fun, I read Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, C.S. Lewis, and some other stuff you'd laugh at.

EF: Try me.

LS: It's a series called Sword of Truth, kind of pulp fiction, but fun.

EF: I bet it beats On the Road.

long pause

EF: What are your extra-curricular activities in the department of English?

LS: I'm on the SAGE committee for FSE relations, and I coordinate the 2C's discussion group. Then, I pester people on the first floor and sometimes win at poker. ;)

EF: What critic or poet do you wish was still living?

LS: J.R.R. Tolkien

EF: Would you make out with him?

LS: Definitely not.

EF: How do you think the SAGE crew can help improve the English department?

LS: One change I'd like to see is more interaction between creative writers and theorists. I think we complement one another and need to explore our similarities and differences.

EF: What do you value most about the KU experience?

LS: The opportunity to pursue my interest in rhetoric and composition and be a part of a great community.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Lisa is a rare individual who gives everything she has to whatever she is doing, whether it's helping a student, listening to her colleagues, talking with professors, or watching her smooth hand at poker.

She walks brisk and confident through the halls of Wescoe with a ready smile and a quick wit. She has a thoughtful or encouraging comment for just about everything, so next time you see her rushing off to class, slow her down, pester her a little, and find out what she's got up her sleeve for YOU!

Ellen Fangman

Teaching Tips...sort of!

I recently discovered that the most dangerous time to ask my fellow graduate students for teaching tips is as a semester draws to a close! Yet I think some wisdom may be gleaned from the following tantalizing tidbits!

Ellen Fangman reminds us that "[c]ardiovascular exercise helps relieve tension after discussions of the pedophilic nature of Nabakov's Humbert Humbert."

Julie Sorge offers these words of wisdom: "When making marginal comments, remember the Viking proverb: Always pillage before you burn."

And Joe Sommers has this to say regarding teaching: "Teach to your interests-thus you're not faking sincerity, and they will either feed on your excitement or grow reviled in your nerd-i-osity. Moreover, even if you are nerdy, be the nerd who you are. The students can sense your genuine nature as well sniff out a rat (or rotten alternate teaching-persona). Better to give them the real you than some cardboard cutout they expect from a bad rerun of "Head of the Class."

One more thing, take the job and the responsibility seriously, but maybe take yourself less seriously. If anything can break up the monotony, looking at Jerk-A-Center Square standing directly in front of them as exemplar for them to learn off of through occasionally ridiculous and hyperbolic examples can occasionally make the 50 minute class or even the long 70 feel a bit more like an easy 20 with laughter and jocularity. Remember, they're not laughing with you-they're laughing at you-but they are paying more attention now than when you were articulating the number of degrees in an equilateral rhetorical triangle using Latin.

Try referring to yourself in third person on occasion and one or two students a class as "the boy"... regardless as to whether they are male or not. If one boy grows jealous of the other boy-pit them in merciless, bloody combat until you only have one left (tell FSE you were teaching Golding's Lord of the Flies)

Can't remember their names? Try synecdoche-"Hey you, Hey you fuzzy, bristle face-You wake up!!!" They know who they are, and now you do too.

Make your extra credit questions games of name that tune where you hum off parts of verses. Try Sinatra, they never get him (and even if they do you can claim you were humming the originals)."

My own piece of advice-find a way to reference South Park or The Simpsons in class discussion-it's a surefire way to get your students' attention, and either cartoon series relates to everything!

Compiled by Kristin Bovaird-Abbo

Welcome to Professor Rebecca Curtis!

Earlier this fall, Mindi McMann got to know one of our newest faculty members. Here's what she learned!

Professor Rebecca Curtis is one of the newest members of the faculty in the English department here at the University of Kansas. She received her MA from New York University and her MFA from Syracuse. She has had stories published in The New Yorker, Harper's, McSweeney's, and The Gettysburg Review, among other publications. She is teaching a graduate level fiction writing course this semester. She will be doing the same in the spring, as well as leading English 753, a Writer's Workshop.

Since moving to Lawrence she has been lucky to discover many charming aspects of the community. Of course, anyone living in Lawrence knows of that one of the most endearing aspects of the city is the downtown area, which offers an eclectic selection of stores and restaurants. Among some of Professor Curtis's favorite spots on Massachusetts Street are Zen Zero, India Palace (anyone who has been to either of these restaurants can attest to Professor Curtis's good taste), Prairie Pond Studio for nice, unique and creative jewelry, and Blue Heron.		 Of course, some things do not change, regardless of location. Professor Curtis works out by walking along the levy. She also likes to watch movies (a favorite pastime that is quite popular among faculty and students in the English department). Recently, she watched 28 Days Later, a film, despite its zombie plot, leaves the viewer thinking about the implications of the story.

Professor Curtis's goal, among others, is to inspire her students to try something new. She wants to get them excited about writing. The advice she offers to aspiring writers is to be self-reliant. One must become a writer because one wants to be; do not do it for others, do not revise your writing style for others. Be your own harshest critic. Finally, take the risk that your writing may forever be in your desk drawer. It shouldn't matter, if you are doing it for yourself.

Professor Curtis is currently working on a book of short stories. Her stories involve a young female narrator who seems to always be in danger, though she was careful to point out that the narrator is not based on herself.

Encounter at a Cyber-Café
"Nothing is a sign unless it is interpreted as a sign."
---Charles Sanders Peirce

He thought he read an
invitation in those button-
blue eyes: There's room
for two here in my nook.
The artful way her educated
glances flew seemed to him
a series of entreaties, timed
perfectly to follow a quiver
in her pinkish, pouting lips
that signaled: Bored
with semiotics. Need
relief. The careless toss
of head and hand said catch me
if you can: Umberto's much too
old for me, Barthes is in
the grave, and Bakhtin's
bad at smalltalk. The raising
of her milky arm to pull
the pencil from her whispy bun...
an unraveling of the soul
that said: I may be
academic, but I'm easy.

This called for cappuccino!

He preened himself a little
in a nearby window, and
found that things were much
the same since he arrived
at eight-slick hair, tight
t, and massive, contoured
pecs, a combination that
implied: I may be
bulky, but I'm sensitive.
Still, he caught
one last reflection in his
laptop screen, clicked
save, and then descended
on that book-sick girl.

From where I sat, I couldn't
see enough to call it a win.
Her back was to my smile.

But I remember being her,
the author looking for her hero,
the signifier in the café nook,
and someone else's signified.

-Ellen Fangman

An Interview with Harold

Performed by Aaron Profitt

Eager to expand my mind and broaden the horizons of my colleagues, I spent my salary making long-distance phone calls to New Haven, trying to set up a phone interview with Prof. Harold Bloom. Finally, I managed to reach him on his cell phone to interview him - I've deleted from the transcript below all the times he stopped to swear at his chauffeur, some other Yale faculty member, I think. Of course, everything below is complete true. And when you read and believe my little parody, I have a bridge for sale. . . .

Information is freely and copiously borrowed from the Yale University Web site, from Barnes & Noble's Web site and from the Johns Hopkins Guide to Literary Theory and Criticism.

Q: Prof. Bloom, thank you for agreeing to talk with me. I know the readers of SAGE Advice will be eager to hear your wisdom!

A: I should hope so! I'm a great man, you know. And, by the way, I prefer to be addressed as Sterling-Professor-of-the-Humanities-and-English-at-Yale-University Bloom - or Great One, whichever you prefer.

Q: Ah, Sterling-Prof.-Etc. Bloom, I notice that the Kansas University library system has 470 books by you. How do you find time to do all this writing?

A: Your library clearly is missing some of my books! What can one expect from the Midwest? But that's a pretty good collection of my modest contributions to this ivory tower, this brave new world. I struggled, not in finding time to write, but in overcoming my anxiety toward my father-figures, Oscar Wilde, Walter Pater, Plato, Freud, and so on - they're all fathers to me, after all. All but Derrida; he's more of an ugly step-cousin, he and his little Yale cadre. . . .

But, you know, I just wrote all the time in my younger days, on the backs of envelopes, the foreheads of students, wherever I found emptiness, I brought my fullness from the Olympian springs. I wrote through it all - yes, through clinamen, and tessera, and kenosis, and daemonization, and askesis, and apophrades. . . . I almost didn't make it in the Wilde-daemonization period. Do you know how silly I looked wearing carnations?!? But these things are sent to try us, to make us stronger souls - although, of course, I sent them all to myself, but that's just in my case. . . .

Q: Oh! I thought maybe your graduate students had helped, or something.

A: But they did! They gave me foreheads to write on, souls to mold and shape in my image. Their contribution was wonderful. Although it pales in comparison to my contribution to their lives; I made them, you understand: In my image I made them, male and female, all fat and happy, all now tenured at Big Schools, all writing for the glory of Bloom! [sings] What a wonderful world!

Q: I didn't know you're a tenor!

A: That's a hold-over from my Socrates-daemonization period; can't seem to shake it. The Freud period was the worst, though - always speaking in German accidentally, had a terrible time with seeing everything as a symbol - pencils, cigars, everything!

Q: I notice, sir, that the Johns Hopkins Guide to Literary Theory and Criticism has a lengthy article on you -

A: [interrupting] I should hope so!

Q: Yes, exactly. Well, toward the end of it Donald Pease writes that you somehow worked things in such a way that you "inherited the Western literary tradition as if from [your]self." Is that a fair and accurate representation of your later work?

A: Well. . . . Really, I don't quite know why anyone even has to point this out, why I had to explain it. Isn't it obvious from my work, my career, my genius? Even the common people, sitting in their common little houses, thinking their common little thoughts, now recognize their dependence on me. That's why I wrote How to Read and Why, to educate the masses, to allow them to drink from the fount of my wisdom. Everywhere, around the world, people now are reading properly, reading as I in my ultimate wisdom know they should read. I've made an invaluable contribution to the lives of everyone!

And for the so-called intellectuals, those pinheads who think they know something, I wrote Genius: A Mosaic of One Hundred Exemplary Creative Minds - the whole point of the book is that I subsume them all! Hah-hah-hah! I am the original genius! Some of them don't seem to have grasped all this yet. But reeducation programs will come - oh, yes. I'm letting that wait for my retirement days.

Q: Ah, sir, you seem a little. . . well, troubled. Are you sure you're okay? Maybe we should talk later? After all [chuckles nervously], as Festus said, "Much learning hath made thee mad" - to St. Paul, not you, of course. . . .

A: But he was speaking to me! Aren't you listening, you buffoon? I have inherited the Western literary tradition from myself! I am large, I contain multitudes! Oh, yes, those numbskulls we call the professoriate - hah! - they think they do "original" criticism. But it's not so. I showed a long time ago how my Yale "colleagues" - not that they deserve to be in the same building with me - those Deconstructionists, were only a belated version of my own brilliance, the moons to my sun. Do you think the rest are any different? Oh, no! But do they admit it? Huh! Ingrates!

Q: [hurriedly] Well, yes, thank you for your time, Prof. - er, Sterling-Professor-of-the-Humanities-and-English-at-Yale-University Bloom. I'm sure our readers will. . . um. . . learn a great deal from your. . . wisdom. . . .

A: Don't you hang up on me! I have not finished with you yet! You have not yet completed clinamen! You have more stages to go through! You little worm, who do you think you are? I'll make you like I made the rest of th[click].
Conference News

Our English department was well-represented in a panel at the 2003 Feminism(s) and Rhetoric(s) conference in late October. Tiffany DeJaynes chaired the session "Spiritual Subversions: Feminist Genres of Resistance and Faith." DeJaynes also presented a paper entitled "Challenging Genre Expectations: The Subversive Rhetoric of Nineteenth Century Preacher Women." Rebecca Barrett's paper was entitled "(Christian) Women in Love: Conventional Language and Personal Experience in the Lives of Christian Romance Readers." Lisa St. Ledger's paper was entitled "The Rhetoric of Relationships: Double-Voiced Word and Silence in the Marriages of Elizabeth Ashbridge."

Other presenters at the October 2003 Feminism(s) and Rhetoric(s) conference included Stacy Stephens, "The 'Agreeable' Rhetoric of Annie Diggs," and Emily Donnelli, "Constructing the Female Orator: The Role of Rhetorical Strategies" in a panel called "The Theft of a Moment: Rhetorical Entry Points for Nineteenth-Century Women Rhetors."

Frank Farmer chaired and participated in a panel entitled "Among Sheltered Women: New Perspectives on the Feminist Academic as Other" at the October 2003 Feminism(s) and Rhetoric(s) conference. KU English graduate students who comprised the panel included Kelly Secovnie, "Class Assignments"; former KU graduate student Crystal Gorham, "Whose Faith, Whose Belief?"; and Lacy Johnson, "One Art, High Art, Your Art, My Art."

Lacy Johnson, Shelley Manis, and Kelly Secovnie participated in the panel "Politicizing Narrative Genres in Eighteenth Century British Discovery Literature: Rereading Defoe, Behn, and Swift" at the annual meeting of the Northeast American Society for Eighteenth-Century Studies, held in Providence, RI, November 6-9. Lacy's paper was "All Her Wit Without Her Shame: Rereading Aphra Behn's Oroonoko," Shelley's paper was "Effective Rule: Nature vs. Nature in Robinson Crusoe," and Kelly's paper was "Reading as the Colonized: Anti-Imperialism in Gulliver's Travels."

Aaron Profitt gave a presentation to the fall meeting of the Kansas Association of Code Enforcement on business writing on November 13, 2003. His presentation was (cheesily) called "Penning It Down: Writing in the World of Code Enforcement."

Kristin Bovaird-Abbo presented her paper "The Grail Legend and the Great War: Willa Cather's Failed Quest" in a panel called "Tara as Avalon: Arthurian Imagery in Women's Fiction" at the South Atlantic Modern Languages Association Conference in Atlanta, Georgia, in November of 2003.

Kristin Bovaird-Abbo will be traveling to the Arizona Center for Medieval and Renaissance Studies conference in February of 2004 to present her paper entitled "Ending the Cycle of Rebirth: Castration in Epicene."

Sam Parkes and Shelley Manis will be presenting a paper at the National College English Association Conference April 1-4, 2004 ("Will the Circle Be Unbroken?: The Intersection of Space and Kairos in Women's Recovery Writing").

Shelley Manis will be presenting a paper tentatively entitled "Dangerous Language: Shifting Context and Oleanna" at the International David Mamet Conference in London, June 11-12, 2004.

Upcoming SAGE Events

No 2004 SAGE Meetings have been scheduled at this time.

The deadline for articles and other submissions for the Spring 2004 edition of SAGE Advice is Friday, February 20th.

The SAGE Silent Auction is scheduled for Wednesday, February 11th, and Thursday, February 12th.